Birthfather???? - Adoption.com Forums

I guess I should mention that this really has NOTHING to do with her birthfather. He's in jail most of the time. She has two brothers on his side (both adults). It would be nice to have the same kind of communication we have with her other 5 siblings (I have pictures and email communication).

In regard to medical history, it is extremely important. As a leukemia nurse, we have adopted patients who come in and it's catastrophic when they have no family history or knowledge and contact with siblings. Those siblings could save their lives. The chance of this happening is slim to none, but I think it's important to get information if available. I'm sure their adoptive parents thought the same thing until it happened to them. Also having pretty rare genetic disorders myself, I cannot imagine not having family history to help me be diagnosed. I would have never been tested as early if we hadn't known my family had history.

I also have only anonymous communication with all birth family. They know my first name, but we use anonymous email address for communication. Our daughter's situation was never really a foster/adopt situation. No visits, fast tracked and birthmom and birthdad MIA. I only have communication with the birthmother's family because I did the same investigating I did for birthdad. I've never had any communication with birthmom either. She's not safe. The only thing that makes me nervous about birthdad is that his criminal history is worse and I don't even know if he knows for sure our daughter is his. He knows they did paternity and they served him that day just to be on the safe side, but he vanished before caseworker gave him the results. I'm sure his family doesn't even know she exists. This birthdad only showed up one time. They had absolutely no information on him. I don't even know his ethnicity for sure. I would love to be able to tell my daughter she's half Mexican and half whatever he is. Not just you are half Mexican and half I don't know.

I know many people grow up not knowing, but I feel it's important to know if you can know. I will hold the information until she's old enough to understand. I have pics of all her siblings she's never seen yet. Their adoptive mother isn't interested in a relationship at this point since they are all young. We will see what the future holds.

My husband thought maybe getting a disposable phone to make the initial phone calls would protect us and her. All further communication would go through the anonymous email we set up.

__________________
DS "A" 5 years old
DD "A" 23 months old- adopted through foster care
legal risk placement June 2010
TPR- Oct. 2010
Adoptive Placement signed 4/12/11
Adoption Day May 26, 2011!

Source: http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/399891-birthfather.html

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